This very moment, this hour,
this day, will never return. Time moves along inexorably and daily life never
stands still. At age 85, I’m acutely aware of the passage of time and of
growing older while also moving toward my own demise. The clock seems to be ticking
ever faster. Remember waiting for Christmas when we were kids?
Looking back, I’ve had a
very long, interesting, unconventional, and adventuresome life filled with many challenges, joys, and acute
sorrows. I’m glad to have lived as long as I have. I’m especially grateful for all
my children and grandchildren—including my late son Andrew and Cuban foster son
Alex just for their very existence, though it was way too brief. Our family has been part of the human tapestry being woven continuously ever since the dawn
of history.
On September 15, an early
morning chill here in Washington, DC, announced that fall, officially starting
on September 23, had come a little early. Walking outside on the next day, a
Saturday, I found that the weather had turned sunny and rather balmy. Lots of folks were gathered
around stalls both inside and outside Eastern Market, most not wearing masks--many
of them fathers with little ones strapped to their chests. We never saw fathers
carrying babies back when my kids were young. So that’s a welcome change.
Couples I saw walking together
around the market either had no kids or, at most, 2 kids in tow. Two offspring now
seem to be the favored family limit, not a formula for a sustainable population,
given that some women have no children or only one. The number of folks my own age seen out and about that day was almost zero. I did notice one woman about my age. She was white, clad all in white, with white hair, and she was not alone. She was
taking very slow halting steps out on the sidewalk, being sustained while holding hands with a young black man walking backwards as he listened to earbuds
connected to an apparatus in his front pocket.
The temperature right now in DC on this Wed. Sept. 20, is a comfortable 78 F.
Here below are some more local scenes, including of these neighborhood kids.
St. Mark's dance studio, a few blocks from my home
Cambodian dancers at the Hill Center, about 3 blocks away
Local artist Michelle Turner features a pink house.
About $5,000
still has not been restored from my bank fraud. A friend told me he prefers using a
credit card because activity is easy to monitor. I agreed, “Yes, credit cards do provide a regular printout, so it's easier to keep track."
I also said that I never
knew before that purchases could be made and bills paid by just
giving out a debit card number without ever even having to display that
card. I've only used the debit card to make deposits and withdrawals at
the local bank branch. “The fraudster, a woman I’ve never met, must have seen
that number on a check,” I told my friend. “With a cell phone, it's easier to
monitor your account. I tried to learn to use a cell, but never mastered it. I
think I started too late.” Now I have a monthly printout of all account activity snail mailed to my home..
AP, As all eyes are fixated on Pennsylvania manhunt, a DC
murder suspect is on the run and off the radar Christopher Haynes has been on the run for a week,
since escaping from police custody at George Washington University Hospital on Sept. 6.
Haynes, 30, had been arrested earlier in the day on murder charges relating to
an Aug. 12 shooting in the district. His escape prompted a several-hour
shelter-in-place order last week for the entire GW campus and brief roadblocks
on nearby streets.
Yes, Haynes is still at large, presumably right here in DC, but with very little
press coverage, nothing like that afforded captured Brazilian escapee
Cavalcante, who has still been making news. But now a $30,000 reward is
being offered for Haynes’ capture.Chicago Tribune, Born in the USA: Venezuelan mother gives birth Yolexi
Cubillan trekked by foot, bus and train over 4,000 miles from Venezuela to
Chicago in part so her baby could have a better future. And Sept. 3, the
19-year-old gave birth around 10 a.m. to a 7-pound boy in a hospital room in
Hyde Park, with the help from doctors who didn’t speak her language using
medical procedures she had never heard of. She was in labor for over 21 hours
without her mother — whom she missed terribly — by her bedside. By that Sunday
afternoon, she and her partner Fabián Méndez, 20, sat in the visitation room at
a hospital at the University of Chicago Medical Center, adjusting to the new
tiny person they called Derick who slept in a plastic carrier on top of a
wooden bureau across from them. Congratulations
to brand new US citizen Derick and to his young parents!
People, Twins Born at 22 Weeks — Who Both Weighed Less Than 1
Lb. — Don Cap and Gown at NICU 'Graduation'
Preemie twins, a boy and girl, came home from the hospital
after 4 months. Bravo to those babies and to their parents and may both children
have a long and healthy life. My readers already know that I am not an “abortion rights” supporter because I consider another party to be involved besides
the expectant mother, although also granting that many miscarriages do take place anyway
and that a very early aborted fetus experiences no pain. But if any individual human
life has value, even that of a convicted murderer, then that of someone not yet
born also deserves protection, even when that person or future person is temporarily dependent on the
woman who has conceived him or her. I realize
that is not the position of many people who consider a pregnant woman’s rights to
be absolute. There is also widespread disagreement among both the public and health care
providers about how far into a pregnancy a woman’s rights should remain
paramount. Some abortion advocates would extend “abortion rights” even up to 24
weeks, which would have doomed the aforementioned twins. Now the newest term for anti-abortion advocates is "pro-baby," not just "pro-life," the term still appearing at the Supreme Court in signs during a recent clash with abortion supporters.
Here is still another natural disaster in a year of many
unexpected crises: fires, sudden lava flows, hurricanes, erupting volcanos,
floods, and earthquakes. NY Times: After Libya Floods, a Chaotic Scramble for Rescuers “There is a mismanagement of the crisis,” said one
volunteer. Thousands of people have died and many are still missing in Libya after the
collapse of two dams.
More bad weather has
assaulted Canada, as a friend living in New Brunswick has told me:
"The Maritime Provinces just went through rough
weather for two days with high wind and torrential rain, courtesy of a massive
tropical system. Thankfully, the electricity did not go off along the road
where I live but other customers close by lost their power. Nova Scotia had
over two hundred thousand customers off the grid. NB had slightly less. It
will take ages to restore the power with new hydro lines. Crews could not work
until the wind subsided. The related damage in the aftermath of the storm, now
commands a great deal of clean-up. Huge old trees were toppled in towns. Tops
of two trees snapped off on my property but, thankfully, they fell in the
woods. Ferries and airports are closed until later."
CNN, Why Cubans are fighting for Russia in Ukraine They
were promised money and Russian citizenship, but when they’ve had enough and
want to go home, that becomes difficult. They’ve now been deemed “cannon
fodder.”
My
good friend in Bhutan, a father of 2, religiously enrolls every year in the US
visa lottery but, so far, has never been selected.
Until my friend told me about his annual efforts, I didn't even know the visa lottery still
existed. I now have advised him: “The odds of winning the visa lottery are astronomically
small, but it doesn't hurt to keep on trying. You have the advantage, if
you should actually win, of having lived here and of already knowing English.”
(He had once stayed at my home.)
Years
ago, I did actually have 3 lucky winners, all living at my house at the very
same time. That certainly beat any conceivable odds!! Those amazingly fortunate
visa lottery winners were originally from Japan, Argentina, and Tunisia
respectively, all here just on temporary visas. The chances of all 3 of them actually
qualifying simultaneously were vanishingly small. First one was notified of his
selection, while the others waited with baited breath as each was notified in
turn, so that finally, all 3 had actually qualified! How could that have possibly
happened? (I even wrote about it in the Washington Post.)
We held a big
celebration in my house and invited the whole neighborhood. After winning, each
had to go back to his home country to fill out paperwork before returning here
again. If memory serves me, the year was 1980, soon after my husband had left our
family to be with his future 2nd wife. That lottery victory by my
foreign visitors really lifted my spirits after my late former husband’s sudden
and unexpected departure.
Foreign
visitors to this country, such as my former houseguests, can even now enter the visa
lottery these days. It’s still only for those from countries sending relatively few immigrants. My 3 long-ago
winners were from Tunisia, Japan, and Argentina, which are still eligible
countries. But I doubt that Bhutan was even included back then. After the
success of my 3 lucky visitors, foreign students begged to live at my house, but
no one else ever won again.
The DV-2023 program
saw over 7 million qualified entries. Of those entries,
approximately 119,262 applicants were notified that they are eligible to submit
an immigrant visa application.
My Bhutanese
friend has since told me, “I
have been trying dv lottery and will keep trying as it costs nothing. I want my
2 kids to study there and settle there. It’s my dream to become an American. Otherwise,
I have a good job here and have been earning well. I regret that I didn’t take
my son when I got visa before. I can still come there and make an entry but I
don’t want to be illegal immigrant there. I want to be legally accepted by
immigration law with green card and my kids’ education. I also heard that if I
can manage 1 million $ to transfer to an American bank, then I may have a big
chance to get a green card. So I am working hard to return to America and will meet
you again.” I've told him, “My dear friend, I am now age 85, so hope it won’t take
too long for you to get that $1 million.”
I also told my Bhutanese friend:
“Tashi, You folks should have had a baby born in this country when you and your
wife were both here back then, which certainly would have helped. Getting a job
here again now, even if only temporary, would help too. You did it once before, so could you do it again?
I’d be most happy to write you a letter of recommendation based on my
actual experience of knowing and living with you.” I also
recommended that both he and his wife apply for the visa lottery, doubling their chances.
Now, at age 85, I am
living alone for the first time and not feeling much like putting the word out
about hosting others, though I would certainly make an exception for Tashi and his family
from Bhutan. The house has lots of rooms and several bathrooms. But right now, I'm
lucky to still be able to take care of myself and don’t want any responsibility
for visitors. Sometimes my son living in
West Virginia comes to take me to stay with him for a few days. But
because of my bank fraud, I haven’t been there for several months now.
Now Donald Trump is out campaigning not only for the presidency, but for his very freedom.
Wash. Post, Nikki
Haley is betting on an electability message to win in 2024
Didn’t I hint in a previous post that even I, a lifelong
Democrat, might vote for Haley? And there are more women voters out there than
men. If Republicans really want to win the presidency, it’s time to dump Trump
and go with Haley. If the contest is again between Trump and Biden, now running
neck-and-neck in the polls, I will have to vote again for Biden
A
2018 survey showed that 82% if American voters do want term limits, but those already
in office are having none of it and their own voters keep re-electing them. Many
incumbents seem intent on serving as long as possible, preferring to never
retire and to die in office. So, what would be a reasonable term limit, if any?
Certainly, Congress members and senators would need to have several terms to put
their experience and connections to best use. But, how long is long enough? Eighteen
years (3 Senate, 9 House terms)? Or maybe even 24 years (4 Senate, 12 House
terms)? Some have been in office much longer than that, like Senator Feinstein
(31 years so far) and Senator McConnell (38 years). Several House members have
served 40 years or more.
Lincoln
Park
is located only about 2 blocks from my home. A Lincoln statue, erected back
in 1876 after the Civil War had ended, has become controversial of late because
the freed black slave is shown in a crouching position, only just rising
up. He is not standing up tall and proud after becoming emancipated, showing that he is now equal, not subservient, a free man no longer beholden
to Lincoln, a white man, nor to anyone else. Of course, at the time of the
actual emancipation, Lincoln actually had been largely responsible for the
slave’s freedom, whose open wrist shackles are shown on the statue discarded next
to him. Back when that statue was first erected, there were no qualms
about what it represented. The area has always been known as
Lincoln Park.
Since
then, a more rough-hewn modernistic statue of Mary McLeod Bethune, a
prominent black educator who became an adviser to both Franklin and
Eleanor Roosevelt, has been erected facing the Lincoln statue. It's an odd
juxtaposition. I think the original Lincoln statue should stay on as an
expression of its time, just as the Bethune statue represents its own epoch. My
family members identifying as African American do agree.
It's
quite concerning that so many high-profile couples, after long and seemingly functional
marriages, usually with offspring, have decided to call it quits: Jeff Bezos, Bill
Gates, Rupert Murdoch, Hugh Jackson, Kellyanne Conway, Katy Perry, Lauren Boebert,
Kanye West, and Kylie Jenner, just to name a few. They also have been setting an
example for others. I’m speaking here now as just one woman who had felt I was
in a secure, though unconventional, marriage, but still was blindsided by
having my husband divorce me after 24 years.
Yet
afterward I did actually embark on a whole new and completely different life, though resisting
the temptation to marry again despite having an ardent suitor. I then revived my Spanish-speaking side that had been dormant. So I’ve actually led 2 very different
rather unconventional lives, each with its own serious challenges and special rewards. Having
said that, I’m still not a fan of divorce except in very extreme circumstances,
as it’s completely disruptive not only for the actual partners, but for their children,
parents, and friends, and also sets an unfortunate example. Splits like that of
the Trudeaus and so many other prominent couples merely incentivize others to consider doing the same. Face it folks, marriage, like any other human connection—parenthood,
work, neighborhood, friendship—is not going to go smoothly all the time. Admittedly,
there may as well come a breaking point where it’s time to call it quits. Still, overcoming
or tolerating certain situations is simply part of living. The luster often dims
on any new relationship, locale, job, or other affiliation over time, so do look carefully
before you leap. You could end up actually being worse off by making a drastic change and
also have an unfortunate impact on others. I feel my kids suffered most from
the negative consequences from our breakup.
Now,
at age 85, I don’t fear death, only pain. I do find my life to still be worth living,
though what I'd like to consider my positive impact on others has certainly diminished.
NYTImes, The One Million Tibetan Children in China’s
Boarding Schools
Boarding schools didn’t work for acculturating native people
in the Americas and they won’t work for China’s efforts to convert young
Tibetans into Chinese.
Spam
calls are not quite gone yet, but are fewer and farther between--a great relief!
We cannot close this posting without featuring lost pets, including a wandering parakeet..
