When he
was discharged from the army, maybe in late 1959, he found me in Berkeley,
having already married Tom, my late former husband—“Too late,”
Roland said. Finding other people was pretty hard back then, no internet. It
took time and considerable sleuthing. Years later, after I was divorced, I
located Roland again in Washington state and we planned to speak by phone, but then
his wife put her foot down and absolutely forbade us to have any more contact.
She was probably right.
Then, 4
or 5 years ago, I located Roland once more, this time in California and found
out his wife had died years earlier, reportedly just keeling over as they were
planning to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. After that, we made
periodic contact via email, phone, and occasional letters. Roland told me about
a rafting trip he had taken in the Grand Canyon with a nudist group who wore
clothing to avoid sunburn. It reminded him of our river trip in Germany.
We all
face our own death from the day we are born, it’s just a matter of time. The
average life-span has continued to rise, but with a hiccup right now due to
Covid.
Some folks
still aspire to eternal life, not in Heaven, but right here on earth. Cryonics
is an expensive and controversial process of freezing a human body after death
in hopes of reviving it at a future date. According to Merriam-Webster cryonics is “the practice of freezing a person who has died of a disease in
hopes of restoring life at some future time when a cure for the disease has been
developed.” However, the whole idea runs into many problems, both practical and
ethical, too numerous to mention here.
A man named Jake narrated
his radio story about his own living death. He had been in an apparent
vegetative state without any discernable movement or apparent awareness, “locked-in,”
unable signal that he was conscious, hearing speculations about his condition going
on around him without being able to respond. How do you
tell the world you are still there? Persons in such a
condition rarely come out of it, but Jake finally did so and was able to tell
his own story.
https://www.npr.org › podcasts › snap-judgment
I’ve mentioned before that a distant member of my own family has
been in such an inert condition for over a year now, with a feeding tube in her
stomach. She is still breathing, but what is she aware of, if anything? No one really
knows.
Times
change, a cliché that is the backdrop for my life. Back in 1969, when I moved with
my family to my current home, some 53 years ago, Washington, DC, was still known
as “Chocolate City,” with a majority black population including in our own
Capitol Hill neighborhood. My kids, of mixed Caucasian/Asian heritage, were a
minority in mostly black public schools. That demographic trend had begun back
in 1957, when African Americans had become the city’s majority. Home prices rose
and African Americans moved out of our city and of our neighborhood, so by
2015, total black and white DC populations had pulled about even, both at 48%. Now
each stands at 46%. But the legacy of African American office holders persists,
as most candidates for municipal offices still identify as black. The
Democratic primary on June 21 will be a de facto election, whose winners
will almost certainly be elected in November, as 76% of Washingtonians are
registered Democrats (including me) and only 6% are Republicans, with a smattering
with smaller parties or non-affiliated.
Last time, I
mentioned that my home phone and internet had both gone out completely—yes, for
3 very frustrating days! I’ve actually gone without any such connections in rural
Honduras in the Peace Corps and on subsequent volunteer visits there, really no
big deal there because it’s simply a permanent state of affairs. But here, my
family got worried when I failed to respond to calls and internet messages. As the
repairman who fixed the problem was leaving my house, I’d asked about payment,
but he just shook his head. Now the charge has actually come in, over $100 for ”Equipment
trouble identification,” just FYI, in case you ever have a similar problem. The
remedy was not free after all! Of course, since I had become so desperate, it’s
an amount that I’m certainly willing to pay.
While being without internet and phone was no
fun for me, for a college or even a country, such interference can turn into a real
calamity. Ransomware attackers, mostly thought to be allied with Russia, recently
disrupted Ireland’s entire health care system. It’s usually considered unwise
to actually pay a ransom, as that just acts as an incentive for further attacks.
engadget A US college is shutting down for good
following a ransomware attack This majority black college in
rural Illinois was unable to recover financially after a massive ransomware attack,
so has now shut its doors for good.
NBC News, Costa
Rica declares state of emergency over ransomware attack Costa Rica’s new president, Rodrigo Chaves,
had just taken office when this nationwide attack occurred. The US is now trying to help the country remedy
the problem without paying a ransom. This incursion has been attributed to a
Russia-based group called Conti.
Peace Corps recently announced that volunteers went back again into
the field in person in March, to the Dominican Republic and Zambia, with more countries and assignments to come.
When US
Covid deaths topped one million, President Biden ordered flags flown at half-mast. But now, after more than 2 years of Covid, the public is getting restless and
impatient with observing precautions. Meanwhile, a new Covid variant has flared-up, reportedly
even more contagious than previous forms, but also perhaps less virulent. Vaccination
seems to provide little protection. Is Covid
becoming more like the seasonal flu with variants appearing periodically? That would be preferable to the development of more dangerous Covid strains, though those could always reappear. Covid is an unusual
sort of illness, showing rapid mutations and fluctuations in transmission and severity, unlike
other pandemics. Life is
always full of surprises, some welcome and others not so much, such as is the worldwide advent
of Covid and its continuing scourge.
While the
pandemic remains, I still feel uneasy about going out, as I’m
at a vulnerable age and hope
to stick around a few more years. I’ve completely given up using public
transportation, the way I’d always
traveled locally before. I still
have some old farecards, probably no longer valid.
Houseplants have been a bright
spot since I’ve been
spending more
time at home. 
Most people have
begun going out again despite the risks of circulating in public, jettisoning
precautions, whether or not that’s wise. After more than 2 years, many are just
tired of isolating, especially now in springtime. Inflation is the natural
result of a surge in demand for everything as the pandemic lockdown eases. So,
not surprisingly, rising costs keep spiraling upward when wages rise to compensate.
Then measures must be taken to dampen down demand by raising interest rates,
but only very cautiously, as too much cooling can plunge the economy into
recession. Meanwhile, a labor shortage due to stalled population growth and
immigration curbs is making matters worse.
Another “pandemic” affecting the US now is the overdose death
rate, already totaling more than 100,000 so far this year. Some Republican are blaming
Democrats for fostering drug use.
Another horrific mass shooting has occurred, this time in
Buffalo, NY, carried out by an apparent white nationalist incentivized by the
internet and also using the internet to advertise his crime. The “right to bear
arms” is not protective, putting us all at risk.
Reuters, U.S. gun deaths surged
35% in 2020, higher for Black people - CDC
Most of the time, women—and more rarely men--murdered at home are
actually killed by a spouse, not by some mysterious intruder, as the tearful partner
initially insists to police. When a woman is murdered at home, apparently
out-of-the-blue, police will probably first suspect the husband, and the same
about a wife with a husband found suddenly slain. Many of these homicidal spouses
have “fallen in love” with someone else and their alibi simply does not hang
together over the long haul.
Wash. Post, Biden
hosts Asian leaders at White House as Russia demands his focus Posing together with Biden outside the
White House, all 10 of those leaders were revealed to be male.
The Hill, Esper
recalls ‘outlandish’ Trump foreign policy proposals in new memoir
Mark Esper, the former secretary of Defense under
President Trump, says that the former president proposed a number of
“outlandish” foreign policy proposals while he was in the White House,
including pulling troops out of South Korea and shutting down embassies in
Africa, according to an excerpt from Esper’s upcoming
memoir. Trump has responded by calling
Esper a RINO and a “lightweight.”
Texas Governor Greg Abbott has boasted about
sending over 900 migrants to Washington, DC, in a direction where many were headed
already. https://www.foxnews.com/us/texas-gov-greg-abbott-migrants-dc-border
MarketWatch, Poll
finds one-third of adults say they think an effort is afoot to replace
native-born Americans with new immigrants for electoral purposes
Business Insider,
Decreased immigration is contributing to rising prices and heightened inflation
as businesses struggle to find necessary staff amid labor crunch
The only option now to keep the economy going in
light of the current baby bust and to support childless folks in their old age
is to welcome more immigrants, who not only provide essential labor but also tend
to have more kids themselves. President Biden also wants to relieve the burden
of childcare for parents through subsidized daycare, but he has yet to increase
immigration after immigration almost came to a halt during the pandemic. Of course,
there also is strong anti-immigrant sentiment in many parts of the country, so
Biden may hesitate to authorize allowing more immigrants before the midterms.
Biden has even been accused of stockpiling baby formula for
undocumented immigrants. Rest assured, the relatively small number of undocumented
babies is not the reason for the formula shortage.
While on that topic, I’ve noticed that online ads for baby
formula and for disposable diapers always feature a dad, not a mom, perhaps trying
to inspire fathers to do more? While fathers may have become more engaged with
their children than when I was growing up or later raising kids myself, mothers
still bear the primary responsibility. A current ad for disposable diapers shows
a father with a baby in a front carrier accompanying a toddler in the park. He deftly
pulls a disposable diaper out of his pocket and changes the baby right on a
park bench. How many dads do you see actually taking small kids to a park? I’ve
witnessed a group of chatting mothers with toddlers suddenly fall silent and give
the side-eye to a rare father with a child who joins them at the park.
Yahoo/News, Finland to apply to
NATO 'without delay' as Russia threatens 'retaliatory steps'
Putin may threaten retaliation, but has his hands
full right now in Ukraine, where resistance has been fiercer than expected. Some
76% of Finns currently favor joining NATO, while only 20-30% previously supported
such a move. And Sweden is not far behind. Ukraine has asked to join as well,
but its membership is unlikely to be approved under present circumstances.
Russia, mired down right now in Ukraine, is not
in a position to attack Finland or Sweden militarily, though it can launch
cyberattacks and cut off energy exports, as it has done now against Finland in retaliation.
Of course, joining NATO not only triggers protection,
but also implies obligations to the whole alliance. Meanwhile, internet rumors circulating
now that Putin is seriously ill may be just hype, but no one really knows.
Biden has been quite strategic in not directly
confronting Putin with US forces. And Putin does need a face-saving way to exit
the Ukraine conflict before it escalates any further. He reportedly has
internal enemies trying to replace him, so it’s not just a matter of winning the
war against Ukraine, but of his own political and personal survival. Still, Putin
must not be made to feel so desperate that he brings out nuclear weapons. It’s
a delicate balance and one that Biden is trying to maintain. Most Americans do
not know about or appreciate the careful effort that Biden is undertaking.
AP, Paraguay's organized crime
prosecutor is slain while honeymooning on a Colombia beach The surprise
attackers apparently arrived across a lake on jet-skis.
ash. Post, Cartel
shuts down much of Colombia over leader’s extradition to U.S. The Clan del Golfo
terrorized cities across more than 100 municipalities in 10 departments,
confining residents in their homes, blocking roads and paralyzing businesses.
Wash. Post, Hong Kong
churches no longer off-limits as Beijing tightens grip on dissent
[The following further comment on this issue was authored by a
friend, Nina Shea, who works to support religious rights worldwide.]
Cardinal Zen’s Arrest Is an Inflection Point https://www.nationalreview.com/2022/05/cardinal-zens-arrest-is-an-inflection-point/ It signifies the end of religious freedom in Hong Kong, the last
of the fundamental freedoms to be extinguished there. Cardinal Joseph Zen, bishop emeritus of Hong Kong, was arrested
yesterday evening under the vaguely worded National Security Law, formally
charged, and released on bail several hours later. He likely faces a three-year
prison term, according to a Hong Kong lawyer I spoke with, raising the prospect
that the 90-year-old cleric would spend his last years behind bars. The arrest of this world-renowned champion of religious freedom,
human rights, and democracy goes beyond the personal. It signifies the end of
religious freedom in Hong Kong, the last of the fundamental freedoms to be
extinguished there. It is a moment of truth for both Pope Francis and President
Biden.
Britain may have considered
stalling further on surrendering Hong Kong, though then Deng threated
to take over the territory by force. At that time, China gave its solemn word
on future guarantees for Hong Kong but when the more aggressive Xi took office,
he moved relentlessly to finish eradicating what little remained of the territory’s
democracy.
Back in Britain, Prince Charles, wearing
a tight military uniform heavily festooned with medals, looked uncomfortable
sitting on a gilded throne while giving his mother’s prepared speech at the opening
of Parliament, as she was indisposed. Is that a harbinger of how uneasy he will
feel during his future reign? The contrast between the ornate setting and the
prince’s canned, banal remarks about the cost-of-living was not lost on viewers
who were quick to comment negatively on social media.
Adoption and surrogacy from
Ukraine have been suspended for now, while in the US, the culture
wars continue unbated over abortion. There was a big abortion rights demonstration
on Saturday, May 14, that ended up outside the Supreme Court near my home. The American public may be
getting weary of the abortion debate, but with so much news and speculation swirling
around the Supreme Court’s pending decision on Roe vs. Wade, it’s a topic impossible
to avoid. Supporters
of the procedure cite precedence after almost half a century, while opponents
have been crafting their own strategy for just as long. And public opinion has
never been as solidly behind “abortion rights” as advocates contend.
Birthing a
child is a special privilege that only women possess, essential for the continuance
and survival of humankind. But an individual pregnancy can also be regarded as a
calamity, especially since a fetus is an unseen entity without a known personhood
and personality. The ability to give birth to a brand new
human being has been a universal attribute of women everywhere and at all times,
often welcomed, sometimes totally rejected, and also often bitterly lamented
when it doesn’t actually happen as expected.
Now either giving
birth or preventing a birth has become mired in bitter controversy and
name-calling. Instead of being described as “pro-life” or “anti-abortion,” those
cheering on the possible demise of Roe are being described as opponents of “abortion
care,” also as being “anti-choice,” and, more awkwardly, as “anti-pro-choice.”
Abortion advocates emphasize female “choice” and bodily autonomy, while those
opposed seem less well organized, offering less cogent arguments, and not providing
unexpectedly pregnant women with much tangible help either. And since there is
now such an emphasis on “choice,” what about a woman’s choice, assuming that
she had a choice, about having sexual intercourse with a male partner to begin
with, and perhaps engaging in unprotected sex, knowing that a pregnancy might
result? Isn’t that also a “choice”?
Both public
figures and private citizens are coming forward now with their own personal abortion
stories. One wonders if perhaps a female member of the Supreme Court, past or
present, might also have actually had an abortion herself, though probably not
Barrett. A protester outside Barrett’s home in suburban Virginia accused her
not knowing what’s like to give birth. (Barrett has 5 biological children and 2
adopted from Haiti.) Protesters have also appeared outside the homes of other
Supreme Court justices.
Women, especially
single women, with unexpected pregnancies who may have considered abortion, but
who then decided instead to give birth, have yet to catch up by telling their
own personal stories. Pregnancy crisis centers trying to dissuade women from
seeking abortions now actually offer them little in the way of practical
assistance, usually just pregnancy tests, diapers, and baby clothes. These
centers don’t really have the resources to offer more assistance for the long
haul. That would have to come from public funds. Are red states now planning to
curtail abortions actually expanding meaningful help for overburdened pregnant women?
So far, there are no signs of that.
The birth of a live baby is only the beginning
of a long-haul commitment to provide care and support through sickness and
health until that child reaches adulthood and even beyond. An abortion may be over
in minutes, but the birth of an infant, a brand-new human being, has lifelong implications
for both mother and offspring. Some pro-lifers who recognize this advocate for and
actually do provide some basic practical help and support, especially to low
income and single pregnant mothers already struggling, but it's hardly enough. As
the saying goes: “It takes a village to raise a child.”
A pro-life advocate makes the following points: “The
pro-life movement’s political allies have gutted social safety net programs
that would make it easier for women to carry pregnancies to term, with the
pro-life movement offering no effective counter-pressure. Any number of proposed policy options, such as guaranteed parental leave or the continuation of the enhanced child tax credits adopted in Covid relief packages, would go a long way
toward reducing economic insecurity as an incentive for abortion. Often, these
measures, as well as other major elements of the social safety net, are met with intense Republican .opposition, which the pro-life movement has not generally made it a priority to
counter. While many in the pro-life movement provide private
charitable support to crisis pregnancy centers and other similar efforts, the
availability of a patchwork of private options cannot stand in for more
reliable policies in support of economic security for parents and children.” America, I support overturning Roe. But pro-lifers need to understand why
so many Americans fear this decision.
Here’s another
article explaining the “pro-life” side. Daily Beast, You
Need to Understand Why Many People Oppose Abortion
TIME, We
Asked Hundreds of Americans About Abortion. Their Feelings Were Complicated
Human fetal
development proceeds along a continuum, so any cutoff point might seem
arbitrary. Americans are quite protective of children, but some would protect only
those actually born. And children do not stay children forever, moving on to
become adults whom we may love and admire, while others have grown up to become
Donald Trump, or even more nefarious figures.
It does seem
counterintuitive to me to characterize abortion as “a human right” when a (potential)
life has been snuffed out. But that’s what Amnesty International is saying.
Like other human rights organizations, Amnesty opposes the death
penalty.
Those still ambivalent
about supporting “abortion rights” are being warned that contraception bans may
soon be next, though that’s not a given, and also that gay marriage may be in
peril. However, gay marriage is quite different, because 2 consenting adults
are involved, whereas a fetus has no say about whether to go on living. I would
support gay marriage but still have misgivings about abortion, especially after
the first 3 months. In fact, I really would oppose it completely after 3 months
unless there were a grave threat to the mother’s health or a fetal defect
incompatible with life. That’s actually the position of most Americans. Most
Americans would agree on the 3-month limit, according to polls, including among
most of those considering themselves “pro-choice.” Even after that, an abortion
for valid reasons should be carried out with sufficient pain relief for the
fetus and respectful treatment of the remains. Of course, some contend that a
fetus is not yet human until actually being born. That seems to be President
Biden’s current position (though that was not always his position). Of course,
the developmental stage at birth can vary, so that doesn’t seem like the right
marker either. If not human, what species does the unborn belong to? So support
of Roe as it now stands is ambiguous at best. But the rhetoric on both sides has
heated up to the boiling point, making agreement now nearly impossible.
The “seamless
garment” position advocates for protecting most pre-born life until natural
death and no death penalty, even for someone convicted of taking one or more
lives. The phrase "seamless garment" is a
Bible reference in John 19:23 to the seamless robe of Jesus that his executioners
left whole rather than dividing it up at his execution.
Support for abortion is partly motivated by a
push for gender equality, for making the consequences of sex more equal between
men and women. However, unwed parenthood no longer carries the same stigma as
before. When Roe was enacted, many unmarried pregnant teens were sent away to
give birth in secret. I had a friend my age, now deceased, who “gave up” her
child after being sent away as a pregnant teen.
The
Jackson Sun [Tenn.] No expected backlash from overturning Roe | Opinion Polls show that most believe abortion should be legal but
restricted in various ways, especially as the pregnancy progresses. Yet,
neither party is pursuing a middle ground that appeals to most Americans.
Democrats would ban most abortion restrictions while Republican support for a
total ban provides voters with two unpopular choices that are unlikely to favor
one party. It seems strange to write that overturning Roe will have a minor
political impact considering how abortion has convulsed our politics since
1973. Yet, the people who care about the issue have made up their minds. The
debate will now likely shift from courts to state legislatures and Congress
where it belongs. The hard job now, especially for pro-life groups who hold the
minority position, is to persuade other Americans of the correctness of their
views. [Author] Sean Evans is
the chair of the political science department at Union University.
We can all think back to our own childhood when
our own parents cared for and impacted us in both positive and negative ways. None
of us had perfect parents nor an unblemished childhood, nor have we been perfect
parents ourselves, though hopefully most kids grow up with “good enough” parents.
Throughout history, parenthood was for the most part not an option, but simply
an inevitability for most partnered, sexually active people, and most women were
partnered in the past, perhaps even more so than now. Having children was long highly
valued, so being unable to conceive was considered a real calamity and the
woman was blamed. That’s still true in some countries today. Children used to work
alongside their parents according to their gender roles, like the 12 children
of my great-grandparents in Alberta, with the boys going out daily to help their
father with tending livestock and crops, while the girls stayed inside with their
mother, engaged in cooking, sewing, and washing clothes.
Now parenthood is not so highly valued, even sometimes
being considered a chore and a liability with children being kept in day care
or school during the day, away from parents. The current tendency among young
parents seems to be to stop procreating after producing only one or, at most, 2
children, and being able to actually stop having kids due to contraception or sterilization,
options not available in the past. Among some young American couples whom I
know, either the husband or wife has undergone sterilization after the birth of
a second child. In Honduras, among my friends there, it’s always been the wife
who has opted for sterilization, as Honduran men rarely consider it for themselves,
fearing emasculation. In this country, too, women more often undergo sterilization
than do men, for whom the procedure is actually easier. In the distant past,
some couples stopped having children by living celibately while the husband
might visit prostitutes or carry on an affair.
The Conversation, Have
children? Here's how kids ruin your romantic relationship Matthew D. Johnson, Professor of Psychology
[Excerpts] The percent of childless American
women (ages 15-44) increased a staggering amount in just two generations: from 35 percent in 1976
to 47 percent in 2010. [What might it be
today?]
Despite
the dismal picture of motherhood painted by researchers like me (sorry Mom),
most mothers (and fathers) rate parenting as their greatest joy. Much like childbirth, where nearly all mothers
believe the pain and suffering was worth it, most mothers believe the rewards
of watching their children grow up is worth the cost to their romantic
relationships.
Looking back, no doubt having 4 kids was a factor
in the breakup of my marriage after 24 years, as my husband was very work
oriented and especially dependent on me because of his blindness. I could no longer
give my husband my full attention, as I had complete responsibility for the
children and all household chores, as well as my own part-time job. When a
young single woman came to work with him at his office, it was a relief for me.
When she insisted that they get married, he soon agreed. No doubt, there was mutual
attraction between them, but sometime after they had married, when she wanted
to have a child, he refused until she reportedly threatened to leave him. (This
was told to me later by my kids.) Of course, they only had one daughter and my
ex died while she was still quite small.
I can definitely empathize with women raising
kids on their own. But for me, being out of my marriage freed me to follow my own completely independent trajectory after our
split, which included work in occupational therapy, though I had been employed mostly
in social work before that back in California, volunteering in Central and
South America and Cuba, writing books, and later working as a Spanish interpreter.
I also was able to take on responsibility for a Cuban foster son, an unaccompanied
minor who had arrived with the 1980 boatlift. While it was rough even putting
food on the table at first, especially since my ex initially cut me off from all
our joint bank accounts and refused any child support or visitation by the
children, I soon found myself able to muster up sufficient strength to overcome
everything he could throw at me. Only after my son’s death, followed by my
foster son’s death, was I finally laid low.
Obviously, not everyone shares my own commitment
to parenthood, though I certainly did not have it easy as a single mother with
very little child support and a father and his new wife who did not offer
overnight visitation and rarely communicated with me. It was very
tough, as I was also working full-time, but the challenges made me even stronger,
and even more committed to our family’s wellbeing and survival. From the time
of my own childhood, I’d always aspired to become a mother, so I’ve been both a
birth and an adoptive mother, as well as a foster mother, grateful to
birthmothers who’ve entrusted their children to me. (I actually did seek out my
foster son’s mother in rural Cuba after his death—he was the youngest of her 12
children.)
It must also be acknowledged that childlessness
is growing everywhere, as already indicated. In Europe and Japan, the low birth
rate is becoming even more worrisome than it is here, having serious economic
and social consequences. China is only belatedly tackling its shortfall in population
growth, hampered now by the pandemic in trying to reverse the one-child policy
and the consequent favoring of male births, leading to a considerable gender
balance there. Belatedly, national leaders are realizing that population is not
just a matter of sheer numbers, but also of equitable age and gender distribution.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Online groups are proliferating, inviting us to
join without even leaving our homes.
Get genuine ED meds! [Hey, do I really need these??]
The Far Side [Facebook group suggestion]
Afterlife
Conversations & More [Another Facebook group suggestion. Thanks anyway, this life conversations
are more than enough.]
Soup Lovers [A Facebook group chatting regularly
about making soup?]
Jamaica Jamaica
[For folks who love Jamaica. I’ve visited
Jamaica regarding human rights concerns.]
"El deterioro
económico de la prensa ha afectado mucho la libertad de expresión" [De
acuerdo, I do agree. This is not from Facebook.]
¿Cuántos planes necesitas? [¡Ninguno!]
